


Vampire Pirates (of course it had to be)

by oh_ms_omegalomaniac



Category: Bandom, Cobra Starship, Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance, Panic! at the Disco, Paramore, William Beckett - Fandom
Genre: F/F, Gay, Hella cool, M/M, Oneshot, Pirates, Short, Vampires, and i thought well vampires, background relationships can be interpreted how you like, but vampire pirates!!!!, everything is so gay, i love this stupid gay site, i'm so gay, idek i just wanted to do a pirates au, it's so gay, no im kidding this is so lame, pirates seriously, sorry - Freeform, um, why not, yeah - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-04
Updated: 2015-03-04
Packaged: 2018-03-16 07:28:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3479534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oh_ms_omegalomaniac/pseuds/oh_ms_omegalomaniac
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Patrick's last thoughts before her fist connects with his temple are something along the lines of, oh, duh, Cladestine, Wentz's ship. Of course they couldn't get boarded by regular pirates, no. It had to be fucking vampire pirates. </p><p>Patrick is the captain of the Allie and one night they get invaded by pirates. Who are vampires. Because.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Vampire Pirates (of course it had to be)

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: This is only based on existing real people- it is a work of fiction and is about characters who resemble real people. Please don't harass any real people or friends/relatives of real people about shipping.

“Captain! Wake up, we've been boarded!”

An urgent yell wakes the blond man, tearing him from the peacefulness of sleep and back into the real world. He'd only just gotten to sleep, too. Why on earth would Joe be so rude as to wake him up? Patrick blinks sleepily for a few seconds before his first mate's words register in his somewhat fuzzy mind. 

Boarded. 

Shit. 

"They're overpowering us, 'Trick, get the fuck up!" 

Joe's freaking out. This must be serious.

Out of bed in an instant, Patrick snatches up his sword and runs outside to the deck, soon fully awakened by the shouts of his crew and the dark flag flown by the ship next to his. 

Pirates. 

Shit. 

The blond man surveys the decks quickly, heart pounding as he sees his friends fighting bravely but nonetheless losing to malicious, unfamiliar faces. With a furious battle cry Patrick races to the nearest skirmish- Brendon trying to fend off the attack of a thin brown-haired boy. Delivering a quick blow to the pirate's temple with the end of his sword (Patrick's not going to kill anyone, no way) Patrick is rewarded by him collapsing and Brendon's grateful grin. 

"Thanks Cap-" 

Brendon's cry is cut short by a tall woman hitting him squarely in the face, knocking the boy to the ground and leaving his assailant facing Patrick and rolling her eyes. 

"You'd think Pete would choose a ship with some cute girls on it. Honestly, is Cladestine the only boat on the seven seas with female crew members?" 

Patrick's about to automatically reply with something along the lines of 'we've got Hayley, if you want cute girls, only she's disguised as a boy and has no idea we all know' when Pirate Lady grins, flashing long, pointed incisors. 

Patrick's last thoughts before her fist connects with his temple are something along the lines of, oh, duh, Cladestine, Wentz's ship. Of course they couldn't get boarded by regular pirates, no. It had to be fucking vampire pirates. 

//^-^//

"Wake up!" 

Someone is gently slapping Patrick and he wakes, head throbbing and vision swimming a little. 

Shit.

Pirates. 

Fucking vampire pirates. 

His eyes focus on a beaming man standing in front of him. 

"Hi, I'm Gerard, it's lovely to meet you! Sorry about all this, by the way. Pete quite likes his power trips." 

Following the strange red-headed man's gaze, Patrick realises that his hands are tied above his head, attached to the bars of his cage. 

Cage?! 

Oh, holy smokes. Looking around blearily, Patrick sees his loyal crew looking thoroughly defeated, each tied up like him in various states of consciousness. 

Hayley on his right is wide awake, eyes darting around wildly and fists clenched while Gabe on his left is snoring, sporting an impressive purple bruise spreading across his cheekbones. Frank next to Hayley is struggling defiantly against his bonds while Spencer next to him is much more resigned to their apparent fate, bitchface on and eyes narrowed. 

Brendon, Joe and Andy are to Gabe's left, each sporting various injuries and whispering nervously to each other. 

Well, Brendon's nervous. Joe is half asleep and confused while Andy looks like he's trying to figure out a way to either A) escape or B) shut Brendon up ASAP. Patrick sends them what he hopes is a reassuring smiles and recieves a tiny smile from Andy and a slightly hysterical grin from Brendon. Joe isn't quite up to smiles yet. 

"Gee, are they all awake?" 

The tall woman who knocked Patrick out saunters into view and places a hand on her hip, surveying the room. Still beaming, showing sharp fangs, the red headed man shrugs and answers her. 

"Almost." 

"Oh, good. Pete's been waiting to make his dramatic entrance for ages and he's getting on my nerves." 

Not exactly sure what's going on but grimly eager to meet more of their captors, Patrick watches as the woman strolls away and returns with what must be Wentz's crew. 

The infamous Peter Lewis Kingston Wentz III clearly commands the small group. The thin boy Brendon was fighting stands behind Wentz, flanked by a tall vampire with long mouse-brown hair. A blond youth stands behind them, blankly staring ahead as a curly haired man mutters something to the bearded man next to him. 

"Greetings, crew of... what was their ship named, Vicky?" 

"Allie." 

"That's right, Allie. What a stupid name for a ship." 

"Oh, and like Cladestine is any better." 

Gabe is awake and as sassy as usual, staring defiantly down at Wentz as everyone's eyes turn to him. The pirate captain doesn't respond, ignoring him and continuing his speech. 

"Anyway, greetings. My name is Pete Wentz and-" 

"We know who you are, dickhead. You're infamous." 

It's Frank speaking up this time, sounding about as menacingly bored as someone four-foot tall and tied up can. He's right, Patrick thinks, and however much he wants to protect his friends from Pete's wrath, he's proud of his crew and their admirable sass in the face of probable death. 

"-and I'm the captain of Cladestine. The ship who has sunk yours-" 

Letting out a loud groan, interrupting Wentz, Patrick glares at the vampire. 

"Did you really have to do that? Really?" 

"Yes, duh. What was I supposed to do with it, sail two ships?" 

Well, Patrick can't really argue with that logic, but his ship was everything to him. His whole life. 

The captain of a now-defunct ship is so lost in his own thoughts that he doesn't even notice the pirate captain stalking towards him until Wentz is an inch from his face, whiskey brown eyes staring into Patrick's baby blues. Patrick has to fight not to flinch- he stares back as bravely as he can, not breaking the eye contact even when Wentz raises a hand to gently push Patrick's hair out of his eyes. 

"Don't touch him!"

Hayley's yell is hoarse and strained but loud enough for Pete to notice and look around. 

"I'll do whatever I want thank you, little girl." 

"I'm not a girl. What are you talking about?" 

"We all know you're a chick, Hayley. Hayley isn't even a guy's name." 

“It can be, Gabe, shut up!”

Smirking widely now, Pete pauses before baring Patrick's neck, leaving the pale skin exposed and ready for him to sink his fangs into. Patrick doesn't dare speak, lest his voice show how terrified he is right now. Fucking vampires, honestly. 

"Back the fuck up, Wentz!" 

Brendon tries bravery and Patrick almost laughs at the adorableness of it. The chestnut-haired youth looks like an angry puppy dog- far from intimidating. For a few moments it's quiet before Pete draws back with a menacing grin. 

"They're all rather protective of you, little one. What's your name?" 

Patrick doesn't respond and Pete's brow furrows in annoyance. 

"Tell me." 

"Captain Patrick Vaughn Stump." 

"Oh, you're the captain, Pattycakes! Lovely!" 

Letting out an irritated sigh, Patrick is dragged back to memories of Megan and Kevin annoying the blond man by calling him various names- including Pattycakes. Ugh. Not-so-fond memories. 

Wentz laughs loudly at Patrick’s annoyed expression. 

"Anyway, as I was saying, before I was so rudely interrupted-" 

"Untie us and we'll do more than rudely interrupt-" 

"Shut up, Spencer." 

"Whatever, boss." 

"... ugh. You're all prisoners of Cladestine now." 

It's hard to shrug with hands tied above your head, but somehow Patrick and the collective crew of the Allie manage to. 

"We kind of gathered that." 

Joe seems a little more awake now, Patrick notes. Good. They'll need everyone bright and alert for the escape attempt- yeah, like escaping's going to work. Where would they go? 

"I like this one. Can I keep him? He's pretty." 

The tall pirate with long hair strolls to stand in front of Gabe, expression somewhat bored. Gabe is tensed, eyes narrowed with hatred. The deck is silent for a few moments before the woman sighs dramatically. 

"Not you too, Bilvy. Don't be such a dick. Honestly Pete, are these dramatics really necessary?" 

The tall woman speaks up and both Pete and Bilvy turn to stare at her. 

"But it's so fun scaring them!" 

"Sadists. They don't look all that scared, anyway. Especially not the girl! She's a tough one." 

"I'm not a girl!" 

"Hayley, we all know. You can stop pretending." 

"I'm not pretend- okay, fine. I'm a girl. How on earth did you guess?"

"It wasn't guesswork. You suck at subterfuge." 

Listening to his crew bickering, Patrick feels a grin come to his face as the tall woman unties his wrists.

"I'm Vicky. Nice to meet you." 

"Uh, nice to meet you too?" 

The other members of Pete's crew come forward at Vicky's encouragement. 

"I'm William, but you, pretty boy, can call me Bilvy." 

Gabe rolls his eyes at the vampire's flirtatious words but smiles as he rubs his wrists. 

"I'm Ray and this is Mikey! He's Gee's brother." 

Beaming, the curly-haired Ray inclines his head towards the blond youth. The brown haired boy next to the pair sullenly introduces himself as Ryan after the bearded man, who says his name is Jon, elbows him playfully. 

"So, it's lovely to meet you all, really, but aren't we prisoners?" 

Patrick speaks up curiously, happy to be freed but curious.

Vampire pirates. Not eating them. 

"Nah, not really. We'll let you off at the next port if you want." 

Wentz pauses in glaring at Vicky to answer Patrick's question lightly. 

"But we'd be cool with you staying. We're always on the lookout for new recruits... especially when one of them is a cute girl!" 

"Shut up, Vicky." 

//^-^// Three months later...

"Wake up, 'Trick, we're about to start raiding! Why are you still asleep!" 

The blond man groans loudly and throws his pillow at Pete grumpily. 

"I don't care about raiding." 

"Yes you do. C'mon!" 

Blinking away sleep, Patrick beams at the pirate captain and blearily follows him outside, surveying the chaotic deck in front of them. You'd think being co-captain of a ship would mean you'd get more sleep, but no. 

Sending his old and new friends a wide grin as they prepare for the upcoming fight, Patrick laughs quietly to himself. Of course it had to be vampire pirates. Well, he wouldn't have it any other way.


End file.
